Is the last thing you do at night check your phone? Is the first thing you do in the morning check your phone?

This was like getting off crack for me, I now sleep with my phone in another room.

I think addiction is something that everyone experiences at some point in their life but I don’t think addiction is something that most people relate to. I think addiction is one of those things that most people see as other people’s issues.

What you’ve got to understand is all device manufacturers have developed their devices to actually release endorphins and dopamine. Now, what do you think drives addiction? Endorphins and dopamine.

Your devices are literally addictions. I think what a lot of people don’t realise, it was Candace Pert who actually discovered this, but emotions actually work the same receptors in the brain as substances like alcohol, drugs and you know, other forms of barbiturates and so.

When we understand that, we start to realise that we aren’t just addicted in some cases to substances, or in some cases our phone, but in some cases we’re addicted to our emotions and unless those emotional needs are met, you know, we will set situations up in our environment to trigger those emotions in order to get that addiction satisfied.

We’re all addicted to something. The question is, is it external or is it internal?

Look, I’m an addict. I became addicted to speed when I was 19 for about nine months, but there’s also benefits to addiction as well. I know for me personally, an addiction made me incredibly resourceful because when you are addicted to something and you want that fix you will go to any means necessary within whatever your moral compass will allow, in order to get that fit.

Transformation will not take place unless you’re dealing with a person who comes forward and goes okay, I finally realised the consequences of my current situation, the consequences of my current way of thinking are producing a result that is not helping me.

Unless someone’s got to that point, the chance of transformation is very unlikely.

You’ve got to be willing to admit that there’s a problem, which is not a bad thing, it’s a great thing, it actually means that you’re ready to grow, and in order to admit that there’s a problem there’s got to be a level of consciousness.

You’ve got to be aware by thinking, “Should I really be drinking this beer,” and “Should I really be taking this? Should I really be indulging in this emotion right now? Should I really be behaving this way or maybe I can find a different and a better way to do things”.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with addictions. I think the only thing wrong with addictions is when you’re unaware, when you’re completely unconscious of the fact that you need something.

I think judgement and bias is probably a bigger disease than addiction itself and I think if we can get over our bias and remove the judgment then we actually stand a chance of having the opportunity to not only help and heal more people but even help and heal yourself.

So when we have this bias, when we have this judgment in the public space that is so negative, why would someone want to admit that they’re an addict? And if they can’t admit they’re an addict how they going to get help?

So, I think you know, we need to, as a community need to start looking at and viewing addiction differently.

[bctt tweet=”Whatever you need in life will control you” username=”KerwinRae”]

Whatever you need in life will control you.

If you need money, you’ll be controlled by the people that you believe will give you access the money.

If you need love, you’ll be controlled and manipulated by the people that you believe hold the keys to love.

If you believe you need health, you will be controlled and potentially manipulated by the people that you believe hold the keys to greater health.

If you need nothing, guess what? You can’t be controlled.

From a government’s perspective, and I’m not getting into conspiracy theories, but the most dangerous person in the world is a person that cannot be controlled.

The most powerful person in the world is also the person who cannot be controlled.

When you learn how to detach and let go of the things that you think you need, you will not only be controlled anymore by the outside world, but you also won’t be controlled anymore by the inside world.

People can’t control you. Situations can’t control you.

Imagine being able to sit down with a client and have a real, authentic and genuine conversation. What would that be like? Imagine me, I sit there with another human being and connect with them on the level that they have literally in many cases never connected with someone before on.

Outside of emotional stability, the greatest tool that you’ll have to create a high level of connection with another human being is vulnerability, and vulnerability is your ability to lift up the soft parts of your belly and go, “This is what I’m afraid of, what about you? Here are my weaknesses what are yours? You can ask me anything and I’ll tell you anything”.

I’m open about the fact that I’ve been an addict, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.

Reason being is: I know on some level if I share something about myself it’s going to help someone else in this room.

Learn how to have the conversation and counsel people and don’t think about what that conversation has to be, allow that conversation to come from you from within you.

Kerwin Rae