What compelled me to stop being an addict, was that I consciously placed a higher value on my life than I did on getting high. That’s not an easy thing to do when you’re an addict.
I was nine months in using at this point, and I was a hard drug user and was using every day, multiple times most days.
Then I started to realise that my life was actually starting to become unmanageable.
My life was actually starting to fall apart.
I started to see my relationships deteriorating. Certain relationships had degraded so far that they were becoming unsalvageable and I just started to see the people that I was hurting.
So, rather than putting my own needs front and center, and this is very difficult for an addict to do and what most addicts do, I started to consider the consequences.
I literally started to look at my life and asked myself, “What is my life gonna be like 20 years from now if I continue going down this path?
I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t like what I saw. It was pretty f*cking scary, if I’m honest.
The other thing was that there was something inside me that knew I was destined for more. There was something inside me that knew I was going to do something towards what I’m doing right now
That addiction part of my journey, was an important part of my journey, but I knew it wasn’t going to be my life journey.
Although addiction is a lifelong journey, it’s not something that you can be, ping you’re cured.
It’s something that you’ll live with and you become conscious of, even compulsive behaviors in your nature that you lean towards, doing things that feel good.So it’s not just to do with drugs, it’s to do with anything that feels good, anything of a compulsive nature that it’s easy to feel good doing.
So for me, I wouldn’t have wanted to give up that addiction for the world, but what I do know is, the world is the reason that I did give it up.
I knew that I had a bigger set of shoes to fill and I just knew it wasn’t going to end well if I didn’t go ahead and fill those shoes, so I focused on that, heavily.
I changed my group of friends and I went and got help.
I started seeing a therapist and I did a lot of work, and I’m still doing a lot of work. That work will probably keep going until the day that I die.
But you’ve got to find a reason bigger not to use than… to use. It all sounds so cliche, sounds so easy, but it’s not, it’s actually really difficult.
What worked for me was focussing on something bigger than myself.
Think about why it is you’re here, and maybe have a look at what’s gonna happen if your life continues in that direction for the next 10 or 20 years because I can guarantee you, here’s what I know about addiction, it’s a progressive condition. This means it only gets worse if it’s left untreated and… it’s often terminal.
You’re here to do something more.
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