Ownership and responsibility are similar – but they’re different. Ownership is your ability to own a situation, outcome or an event. Responsibility is the second part, where your ability to respond is either in play, or not. This is the difference between ownership vs responsibility.
You can own a situation but it’s your responsibility that really matters because owning the situation is maybe 5 per cent of the scenario. For me, owning something is quite easy. But sometimes people own things to stop the fight, diffuse the conflict and create harmony. “Oh, okay I’m wrong”.
So the “I’m wrong” admission is simply to prevent the conflict escalating and to stop short of actually responding more responsibly, perhaps by being willing to work through the conflict.
There’s a strong probability that the conflict may repattern down the track because the response-ability of the individual hasn’t gotten to a level where they’re responding in different ways. But the responsibility, is your ability to respond differently to the situations that don’t go your way.
Owning the situation is one thing, but your ability to respond differently is going to determine if you produce a different result. Both responsibility and ownership is required.
There are going to be situations and times where people do or say, or don’t do or say, the things that you want and you’re going to want to feel entitled to blame them.
The key thing to understand is, when we blame others we literally give power for creation or for feeling, over to others.
If we blame others, example; you said this and it made me sad. That’s an enormous amount of power to give an individual.
People say things, yeah it wasn’t my fault, they said it.
Anyone should be able to say anything to you, it’s your ability to respond that determines what it actually means.
For me, ownership and responsibility comes down to owning all of my own thinking, reactions, behaviours. I don’t care about what anybody else does, but how am I perceiving what others do?
I don’t care what anyone else says, but what am I allowing that to generate in me that is beyond or within my control?
If we all stayed in our own lane, on our own side of the street, we’d all start to realise that nobody has the ability to affect our emotions, only we do based on how we receive the feedback.
We can’t control what other people do but we can control the way that we respond to it.
We can also own our co-creations.
You can say someone did something to me that turned out badly for me. In many respects that’s a co-creation.
Whether it’s an individual creation or a co-creation with someone else, responsibility and ownership comes down to a high level of consciousness to realize that every situation and circumstance is nothing more than an opportunity and a sign post. It’s a guidance system to give you feedback on something that you need to be aware of.
When you’re involved in situations of co-creation where things don’t go your way and you have the desire to blame, the highest level of ownership and responsibility you can have, in my opinion, is you asking yourself, “What’s my role, what’s my part in this and what’s the lesson in it for me?”
Every individual has to take their own lessons from situations and events. The individual that’s co-created it with you might react negatively, “It’s not my fault!”
They might be on a completely different journey.
The person with the highest level of consciousness has the greatest level of responsibility.
So, everyone has their own journey, you focus on yours.
If it’s a co-creation ask, what is the lesson for you? What was your role in it? What are your lessons? What is the benefit to you?
What skills, knowledge or experience did you get as a result of this co-creation, that you didn’t have before, that has made you better, fitter, faster, stronger today than you were yesterday?
If it’s singular, something you created, again own the situation and the circumstances.
If it’s emotional, a stimulus that is around you, rather than responding negatively, start looking at your responsibility to respond differently so that you’re just not repeating old patterns based on old buttons that perhaps someone else programmed in you that aren’t even yours in the first place.
If you’ve got no buttons to push or triggers to pull, dude you are powerful. No-one can ever manipulate or control you emotionally because you just don’t respond.
That’s the greatest level of responsibility and ownership.
Remember the difference between ownership vs responsibility.
I hope that helps.