If you want to be the parent that your kid deserves I suggest you be very conscious of what you want that to look like in action.
I grew up without the strong presence of a father in my life, and because there was a bit of a void there I started to map out and define the father that I was going to be.
So I feel a little bit blessed that I had a couple of decades developing a high level of clarity around the type of father I wanted to be before I had my son.
By the time my son arrived I had a clear idea of what that was going to look like.
Although, when he came along a lot of that went out the window because of the sleepless nights, stress, and meltdowns and all the new parent stuff.
At the fundamental core I’m still very clear about the type of parent I want to be.
It doesn’t mean I don’t f*ck it up, or don’t yell at him, but when I do I catch myself very fast and I apologise to him.
As a result I’ve taught my son how to apologise, and that’s taught him to realise when he’s done the wrong thing.
The beautiful thing is when he accidentally does the wrong thing, or yells at me, one of the first things he’ll do once he calms down is, he comes and apologises to me without being asked.
That to me is the product of great demonstration.
I suggest you get clear on what it is that you want to demonstrate to your kid and then hold yourself accountable to that standard. Be real and admit your mistakes to them and then they’ll learn from your demonstration.
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