If you’re a human being, and I’m sure you are…then I’m going to assume you know the concept of free-will. Basically, it’s the ability to do whatever the fu#k you like (obviously within reason).
It’s easy to forget that we have free-will though. Especially when we’re around people who don’t make us feel very good about ourselves. But this is when it’s most important to exercise our ability to tap into free-will.
So, when I was asked the question, ‘How do I remove toxic people from my life,’ on the #HeyKerwin show – the answer sounded almost too easy. You simply remove them!
Get rid of them. Stop calling them, stop picking up the phone, stop allowing the dysfunction and the drama and damage to continue. Just stop it.
Now I can already hear the excuses… ‘Oh but Kerwin, you don’t understand – it’s my mum… it’s my dad… it’s a family member…’
Well, if it is anyone that’s close to you, you need to ask yourself the question, ‘What is the impact of staying around these individuals for a long period of time?’
Obviously if it’s a family member or someone that’s been in your life for a long time, you’re probably not just going to cut them out – but you can start moderating the level of exposure that you have with them and their energy in a way that’s healthy for you.
Better yet, have a tough conversation with them. Grow some balls. Tell them how you feel and give them an opportunity to rehabilitate the relationship.
It’s not rocket science to remove toxic energy or people from your life, but people make it a lot more difficult than it needs to be.
Ultimately this comes down to loving yourself enough and putting your own needs first. And that might sound selfish but we’ve got to understand that if we want to be of service to others then we have to put ourselves first.
Because if you’re at 38,000 ft. on a plane and there’s an emergency and the oxygen masks drop down, we’re told to put our own masks on first for very good reason. If you don’t help yourself then you’re useless to anyone else.
And when you spend less time with people who have a negative effect on you – they naturally want to progress in their life as a result, because they want to stay in your herd.
But bottom line is – you’re not a fucking tree… if you don’t like where you are move.
- The Art of Listening from a World-Class Manager | Adam Mendler | S2 EP 4 - April 13, 2021
- The hidden power of mushrooms | Julian Mitchell | Unstoppable #114 - October 13, 2020
- From the navy to the business world | Anthony Richardson | Unstoppable #113 - October 5, 2020
This article speaks to me. I was allowing someone very toxic into my life, they were controlling me until I decided to step up and tell them the truth to look after myself. I’ve now given them space to rehabilitate the relationship with me, watch this space…this tree is pulling out the roots and moving forward!
beautiful that you are allowing the space to rehabilitate not just remove. Believing in giving second chances is a great mindset