How to overcome feeling lost

I’ve been lost many times, but I think being lost is often what is required to find yourself.  And we can’t find ourselves until we’ve been lost.

The first couple of times I felt lost I went on these massive soul searching journeys – I remember thinking, “What the fuck am I here for? What am I going to do?”

And then even after I found my purpose there were still a few times when I felt lost because even though I knew why I was here, I didn’t know exactly how I was going to do it.

During those times I would try and keep myself busy and active because I thought in order to be a worthwhile human being I had to be productive.

But what I discovered was instead of getting any clearer, I would just get caught up in the next ‘thing’ that came my way.

To be completely honest, I got even more lost just by looking to all the things I felt I needed to do in order to feel fulfilled.

I had to be making money, I had to be building businesses, I had to be doing something, anything.

I had to be a human doing, not a human being.  

And what I discovered was, I would just fall into the next thing, and then the thing after that. I was successful but a few months or years later I’d end up in the exact same place where I felt lost, confused and unfulfilled again.  

It wasn’t until I read a book by David Deida called The Way of the Superior Man that I started to look at it differently. There was a statement in there that says, “When you don’t know what to do, the best thing to do is to do nothing because if you’re doing nothing then when the real something comes along you’ll be conscious enough to recognise it”.

That was profound for me, that was big shift.

So I took David’s advice and did nothing. I sold my business and did nothing for two fucking years. My whole life I had been a human doing. That’s what we’re taught to do, we go to school, we learn, we get jobs and we spend a lifetime doing. Even when I was at school, I was a competitive athlete, a competitive powerlifter and a bodybuilder, I didn’t have days off, I didn’t go to parties, I didn’t have a gap year, I just worked, worked, worked, worked.

It wasn’t until the age of 32 or something, that I did nothing for two years and it was fucking amazing. I stopped and I became present.

And after some time, everything became really clear to me and I eventually realised what my purpose was which has put me on the path I am on now.

I don’t know if I could ever go back and do nothing now because I think the point of doing nothing was to find what I’m doing.

But here’s the lesson, when you don’t know what to do, do nothing.

Look, I know people will say, “Well that’s easy for you to say Kerwin”.

I know everyone’s situation is different – I was in a fortunate position where I had sold my business, but the 20 odd years before that I worked my ass off and drove myself harder than ever.

By doing nothing I’m saying stop and create space in your life where you can sit down, meditate, quieten down the noise and have a regular practice of doing nothing and being present.

Because when we do that often times we can then allow ourselves to have enough space to go where we’re drawn, and be guided to where we’re meant to be.

It’s all there inside you. You have all of the answers, but they won’t surface if you’re covering them up with more things to do.

If you’re unsure, do nothing.


Kerwin Rae