A good herd is relative to the behaviours that they demonstrate.
Now, this may sound a little bit clinical when it comes to selecting your friends, but you kind of need to reverse engineer what you’re looking for. The way to find a good hered is to find the people that are doing what it is that you want to do, or aspiring or collaborating to do what it is you want to do.
To me, when I’m looking for a good herd I’m looking for people who are driven by a cause greater than just making money. I’m looking for people who have incredible levels of talent and are creative, all the way through, even in account roles. I also look for people that fundamentally want more and want to be a part of more and are aiming and striving to be greater than average.
So I surround myself with people just like that because when I look around I’m inspired by the standard that is set. And from time to time when I think about lowering my standard, I think, ‘Oh my God – how would that look to all my other horses that I’m surrounded by, if I went and rolled in shit instead of rolling in clay’. Horses sometimes roll in clay so they don’t get bitten by mosquitos. Horses are smart.
I really do consider the effects of my behaviour on the herd around me.
At an unconscious level when you behave in a way out of sync with the herd they’re going to come in and correct you – for the good or for the bad. So when I’m looking for a herd I’m looking for a herd that’s running at the speed I’m running at, but I’m also looking for herds that are running faster than me.
I think we should all have multiple herds, you shouldn’t just pin yourself to or narrow yourself down to one herd. You should be looking for multiple herds where you get different needs met.
It’s like having an ‘open’ social relationship whereby you don’t just define yourself based on one social set. I have multiple social sets. I have my herd with my team here… don’t tell anyone that they’re my favourite! Then I have my herd of my family members which is a smaller herd and a very different herd. I have a herd of mates I hang out with, of clients that I hang out with, I have a herd in my community and my social media community – and that’s much larger – and actually if I’m really honest they’re my favourite herd!
Good herds call you out in the right direction. By surrounding yourself with people who, when you demonstrate the opposite behaviours of what you want to demonstrate, it’s not acceptable to them and they call you out. That’s what people do and that’s when you will hear, ‘Hey, what do you think you’re doing, you should be working a little bit harder…what are you doing saying that when you should be saying this. You think you’re not good enough, you’re good enough, stop saying that shit’.
They call you out in the right direction.
Bad herds call you out in the wrong direction. If you hang around a herd that don’t aspire to success, and you start demonstrating success related behaviours, those herd members are going to call you out and say, ‘Hey, what do you think you’re doing working on a Friday night and not coming out. What are doing working when you could be doing all this stuff with me’.
A good herd will call you out in the right direction and a bad herd will call you out in the wrong direction. The question is, which direction do you want to be pulled?