This was a letter that was sent from a college student back home to her parents:

Dear mother and father,

Since I left for college I’ve been remiss in writing and I’m sorry for my thoughtlessness and not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on please sit down, you are not to read any further unless you’re sitting down.

Okay. Well, then, I’m getting on pretty well now, the skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty well-healed down.

I only spent two weeks in the hospital and I can now see almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day.

Fortunately, the fire in my dormitory and my jump was witnessed by the tenant at the gas station near the dorm and he was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me in hospital and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him.

It’s really more like a basement but it’s kind of cute.

He’s a very fine boy and we’ve fallen deeply in love and are planning on getting married. We haven’t got the exact date yet but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes, mum and dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you’re looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child.

The reason for the delay in our marriage, my boyfriend has caught a minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him.

Now that I’ve brought you up to date I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture, I was not in hospital, I’m not pregnant, I’m not engaged, I’m not infected and there is no boyfriend, however I am getting a D in American history and an F in chemistry and I just want you to see those marks in their proper perspective.

Your loving daughter,


People will always look at the starting point as the benchmark for price as well as expectation, and you’re either going to be working in contrast in one or two directions and you want to be on the right side of contrast.

So, whenever it comes to presenting anything of a financial context I’m of the belief always present the most expensive option first.

Kerwin Rae