Most entrepreneurs are introvert.
Who would agree that there’s surface level connections which are driven by small talk, and then there are deeper level connections driven by acceptance?
What does that mean we have to relinquish? Judgment. But where does judgment start? It starts with self.
“Kerwin, I’m not really a people person.”
Then get a job. Because what do you think is the number one requirement if you’re going to be in business? Your ability to build relationships. And if you’re not a people person then you’re kind of in trouble. You need to learn how to become a people person.
Doesn’t mean you have to go and see people everyday. Because one of the things I’ve observed is a lot of entrepreneurs are actually introvert.
And introvert actually means you get tired when you spend time with people and you get recharged when you’re on your own and with family and that can be a conflict for entrepreneurs. Because they have this requirement to spend time with people because they want to make money but when I’m with people they suck the life out of me.
So, we need to learn how to balance that mix as an introvert and realise that, “It’s not that I don’t like people, it’s just that I’m an introvert”.
In order for us to truly, deeply, honestly, authentically and genuinely connect with another human being, we must be willing to relinquish judgment and we must be willing to completely accept people for who they are.
But in order to have those level of genuine relationships we must be willing to accept self, because if we don’t accept self then we’re going to project onto others, and every time we see someone expresses a disowned part of ourselves, we will judge them and when we do that we’re reinforcing the rejection of that part of who we are.
Does that mean that you have to put up with, talk to, and be around people that you don’t like to be around? No. It just means stop hating people for it. Stop judging people for it.
Because who would agree it takes a lot of energy to judge people?
It takes a lot of energy to hate. Hate is the extreme form of judgment, right? Hate is an emotional expression of judgment.
You’re an introvert which means you do a lot of internal. And you’re around other people and people are draining, but then you add to the fact that when you’re around other people you’re thinking about all the things you are judging them about in that moment. What are you burning a lot of? You’re burning tons of energy.
So, it’s one thing to be an introvert but it’s another thing to be a judgmental introvert. How do I know this?
Because I was that introvert. I was that judgmental introvert that would go into social situations and sit there going, “Ah, I don’t like people. I don’t want to be around these people right now. Ah. my energy’s being consumed, and everyone’s an oxygen robber. They’re all vampires.”
I was that guy. And then one day I went, “I wonder what would happen if I just fucking relaxed.”
And my ability to socialise in networking environments dramatically shifted when I stopped thinking about people and the things that I judged. And the things about them I didn’t accept, and the reasons why they were draining my energy. Took a breath, and looked at them and went, “You’re just like me. Just a little different.”
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